my ongoing path

July 19, 2006

You brought him in as a way to challenge deeper issues - issues which your ex-husband had no ability to help you connect with - and as you are connecting with them, the need for the trigger is disappearing.

In co-dependency both people are so afraid to bring up their "stuff" and their feelings and their fear, they are hugely invested in the status quo. Any change of any kind is feared - by the mind! However - you've been going around the mind. By going into the body and your heart, you're making changes on an elemental level that are, because you two actually DO have a strong bond that is NOT co-dependent, of course prompting all kinds of adjustments in and for K - but they are pleasant! They feel good to him.

You're not going around demanding stuff and laying out boundarries with a heavy trowel - you're sinking in. So he's adjusting. He's dealing with his adjustments and his feelings and his fear - but what his mind and his fears were telling him is not what he's experiencing! He's experiencing (and so are you) that closeness that feels good! So the co-dependency is just sort of falling away.