Words inherently have no meaning other than the ones an individual might attach to them. This is a broad statement and not entirely true in that a tree will always be a tree no matter how someone might try to convince me otherwise.
But what about those words that shift and change, morph even depending on an individual's experience, upbringing, the society in which they live?
Words can and do hurt. They can and do feel bad, but it's contingent on what those words mean to you as an individual and the emotions they evoke. They can have different meanings, varied connotations depending on the person and also depending on the situation.
There are really no words that are "bad". I thought of the worst word for me, one that I hate to hear, write. The one word that makes me cringe. That word is cunt. Yet this words dates back to the Middle Ages if not before. Cunny shortened to cunte was no more offensive than vajayjay would be today. Chaucer's works are filled with this word.
A blonde could conjure up images of a bimbo, a woman with little upstairs, yet to others she might represent beauty.
I know of a woman who enjoys being called bitch in bed. I wouldn't like that at all. It would feel bad under any circumstances for me, but that's me. She's okay with it, so I'm okay that she's okay.
Men too have words attached to them that can have negative connotations. Player, playboy, gigolo all speak to me of men I would not want to know, but I'm sure there are many women who would disagree with me and many men who would feel quite alright being called any one of these, proud even.
Even the "n" word depending on who says it, where and how it is said is not always a "bad" word. I would find it offensive if spoken in my presence as would a great many others, yet it's spoken freely within the black community in a non-charged fashion. Anywhere else though, no way.
My man calls me his hussy slut ho which for me speaks of my sexual blossoming and the freedom I discovered in that which I explored with him. He speaks it with love, respect, admiration, and adoration. This makes me feel as the most sensuous goddess, for that is how it is meant. It's something fun and playful between us.
Yet to some these words connote degradation; they represent a fallback to a time when women were nothing but possessions, objects to be used at will. These could be thought of as some of the lowest things one can call a woman. This could be true for me too if someone said this to me with evil intent, if the implication was that I was promiscuous which means to me that I would have numbed myself so much, that I would be such pain from my numbness that I would feel compelled to sleep with anything that has a dangly between his legs or something like that. In this context it would feel awful. To someone else it might mean something else altogether.
No word is pure in its meaning. Any word can mean many things to many different people. No word is inherently bad. It's all about the individual and/or the context. So I will continue to love, embrace my hussy slut ho-ness within my relationship, the one with whom I share my bed, my life, my heart, my beloved.
Give Yourself a Chance
4 years ago