insecure, oh yes

Insecurities are difficult, often seemingly impossible. And yes insecurities interfere, get in your way, frustrate you, anger you. It's fear. It's always fear which we all carry to some degree or another. It can vary from day to day, minute to minute even. And it's all okay.

Know that you will never be free of them forever. They do serve a purpose. They act as reminders that your work is never completed. There's always room for more opening, more growth, more blossoming, and this is wonderful. If you can share this with another, heal with them and within them, it doesn't get much more beautiful than that.


Men and women alike are plagued with fears, read insecurities. I could argue that women more easily fall victim to them in some respects given the enormous pressure on us to look a certain way, young, beautiful, sexy, and we are often rejected via many venues for not filling the bill. Ask yourself though, "Is this the kind of man you want? Is this the kind of job you want? Is this the kind of life you want to lead? Do you want a life full of meaning or one that's filled with nothing?"

Yet we are bombarded with it and everywhere, and this sucks, and this hurts, big time. We can often and rather easily lose our sense of self and focus on what really doesn't matter so much, obsessing over what are usually lies, what we have lost or never had in the first place, such trivialities and so untrue. Sadly it seems as much as we are gaining equality, in some ways we are succumbing more and more to societal mores.

Who you are though is not your face nor your body. I'm not saying to neglect yourself. But you don't have to look a certain way or be anything but who you are to be gorgeous. For who you are is love. Who you are is found in your heart and soul, and this can glow more than any youthful, unblemished, "perfect" skin or form, shine forth more brilliantly than a flawless diamond, radiate more beautifully no matter what your age or physicality. PLEASE, PLEASE remember this.

I struggle with this as do you. I may always as may you. And strangely or maybe not so, it seems to hit me the hardest every time I have an emotional and/or spiritual breakthrough. For me every time I open myself just a bit more, become more vulnerable just a little, part the curtains that shield me, bare my heart and soul, my insecurities can sometimes come rushing in, sometimes flooding my consciousness, yet sometimes they merely ripple through, barely noticed, hardly acknowledged.

There's no telling what's going to happen when, and you don't need to know. Try not to fret when insecurities come to visit. Try not to resist. Sink into them as deeply as you can. Be with them. Flow with them. Ride their waves. They will take you where you ultimately wish to go.

open-eyed heart

Whenever you are about to embark on a new endeavor or are being faced with an event or situation over which trepidation, hesitancy, anxiety, or even fear creeps in (which could also be mixed with excitement), wherever you are physically, emotionally, spiritually in that moment, try this:

Be prepared for anything, yet keep yourself as open as possible. BE CURIOUS. BE VERY, VERY CURIOUS. Whatever unfolds, even if it's nothing at all, allow awe, allow wide-eyed wonder.

fear and such

Whenever fear knocks at your door, welcome it, embrace it even. See it as an opportunity to expand and grow even more. As painful and as difficult as your process of letting and allowing vulnerability can be at times, knowing that with each step it becomes easier is comfort in and of itself.

Yet every time fear, whatever fear arises, even if it's of a greatly diminished nature, try letting it in, for a little while. Resist the urge to resist it or push it way. Try not to ignore it. Know that whatever triggered the fear has nothing whatsoever to do with what's going on around and about you. Know that it's you, something deep within that has yet to be healed. Try sinking into for a moment and then recognizing it for what it is. Your fear is just a little piece of you. You were triggered by something; it doesn't matter what it is, and fear arose; it doesn't have to have a name.

Fears never go away completely, forever, and that's not a bad thing, so when it rears it's little head, acknowledge it and know that all this piece really needs is a big hug from you and a place to snuggle for awhile within you.

Appreciating this, allowing this, will alleviate the fear, put it back into perspective, and thus you will avoid falling into obsessive thoughts, wallowing in ever increasing hurt, falling into a deep, dark abyss.

new location

This is a little note to let you all know that I will be moving everything over to my own domain. Each day, more or less, and in chronological order, a former post will be retyped on my new site. This site will remain, and I will continue to post here though not as often until everything has been moved, but then all new material will be found at:

http://sexandheart.com/wordpress/.

Please join me, reread old posts as reminders, and please, please let me know what you think, about the new site, any past postings, current ones, or anything at all.
I will post another note when it's time to say goodbye to blogspot.
I look forward to seeing you in my new home. :)

sexandheart.com

hugs, tinque